Virtual Police will ask more people to self-report, self-arrest

Last Updated: April 1, 2023By Tags: , ,

April 1. New remote policing software is expected to save the Town between $1 million and $1.2 million in the new fiscal year which begins July 1. The virtual positions will pay $40 an hour to start, with retirees and layabouts the most likely to be hired.

“Virtual policing is where the future of law enforcement is headed,” said Town Commissioner Bernard M. Adoff.

The rapidly changing nature of information and crime technologies suggests that as soon as new hardware, software or other applications are introduced, they can be exploited by law enforcement in some form or fashion, such that good will prevail even via a 3-D printer.

The town is currently hiring virtual police officers with a strong work ethic, punctuality, professionalism, and exceptional customer service skills. Apply.

 

No Comments

  1. DED April 1, 2023 at 9:27 am - Reply

    And what does this virtual software do? The article does not even explain what it does or why our police dept needs it.

    • April Foolz April 1, 2023 at 11:45 pm - Reply

      The date of the article is known as a “clue” 🙃😉

  2. P. Morgan April 1, 2023 at 9:43 am - Reply

    You guys do such a great job with this every year!
    Happy April Fools Day 🃏

  3. Justin April 1, 2023 at 10:21 am - Reply

    Link to apply for a position? I knew living with my parents and pursuing my professional career in EA Sports would one day pay off!

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